I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
