It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize