I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
