Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize