i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
