You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
