Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize