I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
