he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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