Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
