no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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