Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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