Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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