hell yes lets make some ravioli
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
