So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
