I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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