we're blogging at a bar
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
