I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My feet surprised me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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