In the future we'll all be gay
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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