she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
