All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
