You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
