I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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