Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
