..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
