So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
