she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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