im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize