he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
