thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
