Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
