just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
