i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
