I just threw up on my dentist
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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