this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
