I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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