I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
