u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
