it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
