At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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