they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
