from now on my penis is your penis
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
