It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
