No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
