Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
