I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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