Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
