We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
