Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
