The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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