So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
