WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
