At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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