ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
