The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
