yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
