im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
